Double-Pump Chump

I hesistate reporting this. Last night, around 3am, I was awakened by noises from up above. My upstairs neighbor, you know who, has his bedroom directly above mine.

ee-oh-eh-oh-eh-oh-eh-oh-eh-oh-eh-oh.

I'm thinking, "Oh, no! This is sick!"

I don't know if there was any noise before I was awaken, but bro's, I kid you not......30 seconds!

I feel bad for him. I was sickened and then so sad for him (and her).

Also, it turns out one of my softball teammates has a girlfriend who rebuffed the advances of Mr. Gabriel. He told me, "Dude, I cringe everytime he catches the ball. He's a football player. How can I compete?"

I said, "Can you last 1 minute? Then he's not in YOUR league!"