Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Sign Up For The Run/Walk For Lupus; May 22nd

Please join us Sunday, May 22nd, 8am for the 11th Annual Run and Walk for Lupus at West Valley College in Saratoga.

Please contact me at wonderbread74@yahoo.com if you would like to join our team. If 10 or more sign up under one entry form the entry fee is only $18 and includes a strawberry shortcake breakfast, T-shirt and a package of coupons.

I would like to be registered by May 1st. Here's a link to the Lupus Foundation of Northern California for more information: www.balf.org/balf/vortal/gtf/gvortal.gtf

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Donovan To L.A.=To A-Rod In Boston

The acquisition of Landon Donovan by the Los Angeles Galaxy brings to mind an interesting question. When was the last time a superstar while in his prime was acquired by his bitter rival?

I truly can't remember one in any sport. Roger Clemens signing with the New York Yankees comes to mind, but he was already 38 years old and most in the Red Sox Nation already despised him way before landing in the Bronx. Jason Giambi signing with the Yankees comes close but a bit one-sided. I don't think the Yankees believe the A's exist other than to feed them their stars

This is the equivalent of Alex Rodriguez being traded to the Red Sox or Larry Bird being traded to the Lakers.

While in San Jose, Landon periodically tormented their Southland neighbors. Nothing rankles Galaxy supporters more than the most famous California Derby in the 2003 playoffs, known as "The Game" when Landon and the Earthquakes rallied from a 4-0 aggregate deficit with 77 minutes remaining to net five goals to beat L.A. The sting of this loss even dwarfs losing to the MLS Cup to the Quakes in 2000.

Galaxy fans hate this guy. Here's a sampling BigSoccer.com's bulletin boards:

'galaxycrazy' says, "I am more upset about Landon coming here than Fishy [Carlos Ruiz] leaving, since his leaving has always been a possibility. I've grown to hate Landon unless he's wearing a USMNT jersey, and I think the feeling is mutual with most Galaxy fans."

'cosmojado' says, "Well I'm going to need some strong kool-aid for that much stronger than what most of you have been drinking."

'Femfa' was a little more abusive, "I mean, Landon wants to play in Los Angeles. The scum. How dare he? Let's post old pics of him and titter about how gay he looks.

Whither Landon?


Whither Landon?
Originally uploaded by wonderbread74.
So America's Golden Boy is coming back to the states. Landon Donovan, the former San Jose Earthquakes #10 is ending his four month odyssey in Germany's Bundesliga and returning to Major League Soccer with the Los Angeles Galaxy.

Presumably, the greatest soccer player ever produced by this country is a quitter. After accomplishing everything domestic soccer in this country has to offer--two MLS Championships in San Jose and a sparkling run at the 2002 World Cup--he has reportedly cut short his career in Europe with the German club, Bayer Leverkusen.

This amounts to a talented Triple-A ballplayer foregoing a chance at the Majors so he can continue "tearing up" the Minors.

His Euopean vacation amounted to a mere nine matches. Two of which he started and was so ineffective that the manager substituted him shortly after halftime. Donovan's lack of playing time obviously bothered him, but why would he expect to be handed a spot on the starting XI without earning it?

The final straw aparently was Bayer Leverkusen's Champions League match versus Liverpool where, in the squad's most important match, the coach found him wandering around the field and had some observers believing he was hiding from the ball. The subsequent criticism from the German press was reportedly so hot that the thin-skinned midfielder began talk of returning to MLS.

Donovan has proven that he cannot be counted upon to bring America to next level as a soccer superpower. His antics are so juvenile that they beg to answer the question as to whether soccer's upper class demographic in this country is the real problem.

Donovan was raised in Redlands, CA near Santa Monica, an upper-class seaside community where soccer clubs are the norm and "Soccer Mom's" are a dime a dozen. He grew up in a middle to upper class, suburban lifestyle. He was a soccer prodigy from a young age; actually signing his contract with Bayer Leverkusen while still a junior in high school.

Donovan's problem is that he has never been in a situation where he didn't begin at the top. Nowhere in his life history did he have adversity. How can the American soccer public count on such a player to dare dream of hoisting the World Cup trophy. Especially when throughout the world, soccer is played primarily by the poor. The country that has won five World Cups has always had the makeup of poor, downtrodden kids who have raised their lot in life by toiling on dusty, sunbaked soccer fields and kicking old, patched up balls into torn nets.

Donovan is the rich kid who can't adjust to adversity. Is this the best we have to offer?

Friday, March 25, 2005

The Constitution Is Just A Piece Of Paper, I Guess

Fla. Governor Threatens The Republic

Is it possible that Jeb Bush, Florida's Governor and first bro to the President is about to intervened into the Terri Schiavo crusade.

Jeb Bush is reportedly under extreme pressure to use his "powers" as governor to force the reinsertion of Shiavo's feeding tube. To some small segment of America this might seem heroic, especially to the American Taliban faction of the Christian Coalition.

One anti-abortion group is actually using the Easter week imagery of Pontius Pilate in regards to Jeb's role in allowing Terri Schiavo to die according to Salon.com's War Room:
Crossroads for Life beseeched Bush not to "repeat Pontius Pilate's mistake this Good Friday." Drawing parallels to the death of the Christ -- Jesus' mother was named Mary, and so is Terri Schiavo's! -- the group said that Bush, like Pontius Pilate, must now ask himself whether he should stake his political career on the life of a single person.

Luckily, Jeb Bush is the smarter, more thoughtful of the Bush boys, so we can somewhat hope he'll do the right thing. The right thing would be to uphold the court's opinions--the 19 separate courts--a majority of which are presided over by Republican-appointed jurist.

The picture of Jeb Bush sending law enforcement into Schiavo's hospice room should be extremely disturbing to all Americans and a foreshadowing of a nation under dictatorship. No small words, but completely true.

It is under a dictatorship where the government repeatedly contradicts the majority opinions of its people. A dictatorship has no regard for the law of the land and uses force to apply its unwelcomed agenda.

The courts of this land and over 200 years of constitutional tradition and law are being trampled over by the party that supposedly cherishes freedom and justice...just not in America.

This is not just a group of opportunistic Republican politicians either throwing up a smokescreen or rewarding a successful interest group--Christian activists, but a party that is furthering its radical brand of Neo-Conservatism.

They loathe having women in control of their reproductive organs. They find it acceptable to hold captives in far-off lands for years without ever charging them with a crime nor allowing consultation with a lawyer. And now, they seek to decide whether your suffering loved one can or cannot die.

Today, we must be very worried about our once-cherished civil liberties. In just four years they have been repeatedly taken from under us and no end seems in sight.

If I Ever Look Like This; Pull The Plug

Also known as my Pope John Paul II impression. I regularly contort my face when someone asks, "How's the Pope doing?" Fine, if you call this good.

America Speaks Through Personal Empathy

Many times on this blog, I have illustrated how the media, controlled by the Republican establishment not the so-called "liberal" one, will retaliate by way of the "smear". MSNBC.com posted a story about Terri Schiavo's husband, Michael, complete with numerous innuendo and quotes from people who say he was a shelfish philanderers bent on getting rid of his handicapped wife.

The evil picture of Michael Schiavo the cad, abusive husband was also run on Fox News and CNN, of course, in the name of a balanced story. Is it not despicable to pile on a man whose wife is near death, but can you have a good story without creating a villian whether it's fair or not?

I have a low opinion of the intellect of the American people, but I don't think they're being duped by this charade. Polls indicate that they side with Schiavo's wishes, for one, on legal grounds that he should have the right to pull the feeding tube from his wife, but more importantly, based on personal empathy.

I think most everyone naturally applies their personal wishes upon this issue regarding themselves or close loved ones. I keep hearing people say, "I don't want to be a vegetable" and neither would I.

The notion that people do not want to be limited in their ability to live or be an imposition on others is powerful. We've all had loved ones who have suffered through illness and this is why we're all so riveted by the basic premise of a woman in Florida being allowed to die.

I personally feel great sadness towards Terri Schiavo's family. From afar, we can easily make the call to let go devoid of any contact or memories with Mary, and feel it's for the best. I know it's hard to let go, but I also know that the healing from this will take a long time to set in and may be worse because it's been pushed back fifteen years.

Why couldn't Michael Schiavo and Terri's parents just sit and contemplate the moment without having to coldly stand in front of TV cameras and screaming journalists. Why can't they just sit around Terri's hospital bed and relive their memories of her or just simply cry and cry. In some ways, Terri's impending passing should fall secondary to their state of mind. She will be in a better place while the survivors must deal with the loss and oddly a nation of voyeurs and opportunistic, sociopathic Republican politicians.

This is reality televison run amok.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Olbermann Tries To Steal My Thunder; But Makes Good Point

Keith Olbermann, the MSNBC host of "Countdown" and former ESPN anchor had a interesting insight in his MSNBC.com blog, Bloggermann.

Forget the fact that the posting, "Bonds retiring? I Told ya so" tries to steal my thunder by taking credit for adept forecasting. On February 8, 2005, nearly two months after my own epiphany on Bonds he said:

"That's if he ever comes back for that operation that he just had. What happens if that's a career ending surgery and they 'butcher' something? That would be quite a story, too."

Aside from the LFR's back-slapping, Olbermann raises a new angle to Bonds' bombshell today. According to Olbermann, baseball's new steroid-testing policy does not test players on the disabled list as Bonds will surely be placed to begin the season.

"...a guy rehabilitating a knee injury is not required to be tested for the drug use. If, say, a particular player had been using steroids all these years and needed to let the steroids clear out of his system, the absolute best place for him to be right now would be on a pair of crutches."

This may sound conspiratorial, but remember, of the two sluggers involved in the Balco investigation; Bonds' story has been the one most concocted in slithery legalese by his lawyer, Michael Rains. Conversely, Jason Giambi has focused more on rebuilding his public image with chipper interviews and autographing everything in sight.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Bonds Is Off The 'Juice'


Let the Eagle Soar!
Originally uploaded by wonderbread74.
I'm really getting tired of Barry Bonds and his antics. I'm especially tired of hating him so much.
Now, he's indicating that his baseball career may be over. The Associated Press reported that he used the word "tired" 14 times within 10 minutes. Does this sound familiar? Here's an excerpt from the December 2, 2004 Lunatic Fringe Report:
Could we imagine a scenario in the coming weeks where Bonds hangs up his cleats and settles for third on the all-time homers list? There are many convenient excuses that one could conjure. He's burned out. He's old (he has already begun to use this line last season), maybe the fun isn't in the game since his father died last year or the old 'I want to spend more time with family' schtick.
Since this is a blog, let's look at the real facts, so I don't insult your intelligence like your newspaper and television does. As a friend of mine, who is active in the local track scene says, there are certain obvious markers to steroid users. One, they seem to die early. Two, they start getting injured more often, especially after the quitting the "juice". Third, their large belly seems to defy the logic of a healthy workout regimen.

Point blank, what we are seeing with Barry Bonds is actually a success for baseball's steroid policy. In addition, the saturated media attention and peer pressure of an entire baseball-loving population is forcing athletes to play clean. Bonds is off the "juice" and we're being to see its effects.

In the past four months or since the steroid story became white-hot, Bonds has underwent three knee surgeries and constantly complains of being tired, whether it's physically or euphemistically. It leads to one conclusion: Bonds is a 40-year-old athlete whose body is naturally telling him his exact age.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

The Fall of Big Mac

Mark McGwire's testimony to the House subcommitee was as bone-jarring as any his mammoth blasts.

In 1987, I sat in the bleachers (they were really bleachers back then) with Bobby when McGwire hit is 39th homer of that season. The homer that landed near us set a Major League record for a rookie. I've been there since the beginning. The year before, I sat in the upper deck with my Uncle Richard and watched this tall, gangly redhead try to play thirdbase. Woa, we better find this guy another position! The A's left spring training in 1987 with a hot-shot firstbasemen that was touted as a possible Rookie of the Year. Do you remember his name? (Read below for the answer)

In 1988, Bobby and I again revelled in one of McGwire's homers. During the World Series, McGwire's game-winning homer in the 10th inning set us into a frenzy. In the celebration, we even pointed towards announcer Joe Garagiola, who was doing play-by-play for NBC Sports and he pointed back!

I've been there for all it. I knew he couldn't hit Randy Johnson at all. I knew that a trip to Tiger Stadium in Detroit meant about five homers in a three-game series. I was even there when they traded him. I was even there when he seemed to forget that we loved him. I was there when he discarded us for his new family, the Cardinals fans. I remember exactly where I was when he hit that generation-shattering 62nd homerun. And now I there when the whole world saw the real face of Mark McGwire.

The man who was once larger than life in fame and physical stature was made a snivelling, whiny, little man by smarty pant, nerdly Congressman in suits. The Revenge of the Nerds, I guess?

McGwire's statements or lack thereof, would not have seemed so glaring if wasn't the only one saying them. Unforturnately, for McGwire, he was the only ballplayers not to deny using steroids. Palmeiro forcefully denied using them even going so far to punctuate his words with a rigid pointed finger. Sosa denied it. Thomas denied it. McGwire though was different. For Godssakes, he was choking up just reading his prepared statements!

Instead, McGwire glaringly answered a litany of pertinent questions by invoking the Fifth Amendment. Other time he attempted to shield himself by using his retirement from the game as some sort of excuse or by using the ubiquitous, "Let's move on" or "Let's be positive".

Quite ironically, Mark McGwire has been involved in baseball's greatest and worst single moments in the last 30 years. Judging by today's testimony, the worst is still to come.

(Trivia question: Rob Nelson. This lefthanded firstbaseman was an opening night starter. Along with Kevin Seitzer of Kansas City, Matt Nokes of Detroit and Mike Greenwell of Boston, Nelson was viewed as a hot prospect. He hit .167 in April and the A's sent him to AAA-Tacoma. He hit .178 in five years with the A's and San Diego Padres.)

March Madness Picks

I've got three midterms tomorrow, but I've still got time for March Madness, baby! Here are my Final Four picks and tournament upsets:

Chicago bracket: #1 Illinois
Albuquerque: #4 Louisville
Syracuse: #1 North Carolina
Austin: #3 Syracuse

*15 of the last 16 Final Four teams have been seeded #4 or greater.

National Championship: Syracuse over Illinois 62-60.

Upsets: #10 Creighton over #7 West Virginia, #10 Old Dominion over #7 Michigan State, #11 UTEP over #6 Utah. I have UTEP advancing to the Sweet 16.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Satellite TV Revolution

One of the most unlikely and ironic unintended consequences of President Bush's forays into the Middle East is the recent developments of democratic revolution.

I say "unintended" because it would be foolish to present the slow-simmering uprisings in Lebanon and the about-faces in governance by Egypt and Saudi Arabia as anywhere near the top ten in Bush's everchanging reasons for invading Iraq. Whether the reason was capturing Osama bin Laden, weapons of mass destruction, oil, Saddam Hussein, or democracy--he finally found a reason that panned out.

Nevertheless, whether the nearly one million anti-Syria protesters in Beirut are a direct result of the pressure the administration has exerted in the region for the last three years were merely a coincidence or "perfect storm" of factors, the facts are that they are occurring under President Bush and its his accomplishment to reap. President Reagan did the same thing by telling Gorbachev to "tear down this wall" referring to the Berlin Wall. In actuality, the Soviet model had been disinegrating for decades. Reagan was lucky to be there at its conclusion and subsequently kicked the last slab of concrete and won, for now, historical praise.

Other than the self-proclaimed genius that is Bush geo-politics, what could be the factors that's leading to this groundswell of burgeoning democracy? Satellite television.

For Americans, the beauty of satellite television is 500 channels (and nothing on...), on-demand programming and dirty movies. To the rest of the world, especially the oppressed world, satellite television means unfettered access to an unvarnished and thoroughly opposite view of the news. It's the prime reason that Saddam Hussein and ayatollahs in Iran banned satellite dishes. They are what the printing press was to the enlightenment. A method by which people under dictatorships like Syria, Iran, Saudi Arabia and formerly Iraq can learn not only what going on in the world but more importantly, how the world views them. Not only is the news effective, but also in the traditional method of promoting western ideas and attire throught sitcoms and movies.

In Iran, which without any western intervention is about to withdraw from its religious underpinnings, has nearly half its population under 14 years of age. In addition, the state has foundered when it comes to finding work for this large underaged class. Unemployment is floating around 20 percent. What you have in Iran is a huge, impressionable demographic already drawn towards western taste and with plenty of time to watch TV. A recipe for change? Sounds better than looking for rockets under stones in the desert, to me.

Friday, March 04, 2005

The Argument For A High-Calorie Diet


Oldest Person in the World
Originally uploaded by wonderbread74.

Brazilian born Maria Olivia da Silva's birth certificate reads: February 28, 1880.

If this is what 125 years looks like then grab me twelve Big Macs and a 32-ounce cup of lard with lemon. Goddamnit!

Family and friends says she still lucid and rational. Who wants to talk to a 125 years old person? What would we talk about? President Woodrow Wilson's League of Nations or that new cartoon character, Betty Boop?

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Reasons Osama Hates America #2

I pity you Americans. I spit on you. Pa-tuwee!

Why do you American filth thik you're so funny--so clever? If I say, "Surely, you don't think goat cheese goes well with peanut butter," why do you feel it appropriate to say, "First off, don't call me Shirley." This is not funny, American pigs.

I have remorse for many of you who spend their entire life waiting for the one moment when can you reply to this question. The other day, I was at the library here in Tora Bora. This guy says, "Whoa chief, do you have your badge?" This stinking guy says, "Badges? I don't need no stinking badges!" My mouth was, as you say, agape.

What is the meaning of this anyway? Do you think you are all comic geniuses like Rich Little or even Howie Mandel? That guy kills me. I asked all infidel Americans: How could you allow Paramount to cancel his daytime talk show. You know who I blame? That Don Rickles. He thinks he's so funny, but nothing he says is funny at all. Why does he call people hockey puck? What is hockey, anyway?...But I digress.

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times; May bombs bursting in the sky be more than a catchy little ditty!

Love, OBL

Monday, February 28, 2005

Reasons Osama Hates America #1

My swine infidel friends, this is Osama. How are you?

Fine?
That's good. Me?
Not so good. I just try and try to get to know you silly Americans, but I just can't. I'm not going to get angry, but, c'mon, my friends; Nike has a black golf ball? Man, you must be mad!

How, in all of Mohammed's world, can you play golf with a black ball. America, do you think this is Pee-Wee golf? Aren't golf ball white so you can see them in the long grass? Remember in Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11", which was very good. Thank you Michael, I liked what you did with the goat story. Anyway, remember when Georgie was playing golf? We can all agree that he's a few rockets short of weapons of mass destruction, but even Georgie plays with a white golf ball.

Seriously America, do you need to go mad like an Afghani on opium with these balls. It's like marrying a sixth wife. Do you really need another? Who needs to take the time to coordinate their menstrual cycles and the constant yapping "When are you coming home? Osama Jr. needs new shoes? Blah! Really, the time to could be used more wisely. Like planning terrorist attack or making miniature Meccas out of Legos. But I digress. Try this one: It's like buying a pretty colored ball point pen that writes in invisible ink!

America, try worrying about something more important than a golf ball that you'll eventually lose like your fear of me!

Infidels! May bombs bursting in the sky be more than a catchy little ditty.

Osama....out!

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Book Review: 'Fear' Falls Flat


State of Fear by Michael Crichton
Originally uploaded by wonderbread74.

There's been a ton of political discourse over Michael Crichton's "State of Fear". Much like Ronald Reagan and the Republicans misread Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA and its message, so too have present-day GOPers over this book

Crichton's novel deals with some of the same blend of campy, informative and frenetic action that fans of his books expect. I am a fan of many of his books and probably have read more of his books than any other author. It's not as good as, say, "Jurassic Park" or even "Airframe" but it should keep Crichton fans well nourished.

A group of environmental terrorist are seeking to manipulate the weather and natural disasters to further prove their theories of global warming and rising ocean levels. Typical of Crichton's other works, an ensemble of one-dimensional characters including a know-it-all scientist, a rich philanthropist, two hot chicks and an everyman lawyer seek to thwart the "terrorists".

The Republican Party, which have longed to debunk the theories of global warming, have applauded this book as proof. "State of Fear", on the surface, fiercely defends this point of view, even using numerous graphs throughout the book, but the message is actually quite different.

As the title suggests the main theme of this book is the manipulation of fear in American society to achieve and maintain political power. Michael Moore. in fact, postulated the same idea in "Fahrenheit 9/11". As a professor in the book says:

"To the requirement of every sovereign state to exert control over the behavior of its citizens, to keep them orderly and reasonably docile...and of course we know that social control is best managed through fear."

In fact, "State of Fear" is less about the agenda Republicans seek than the one they already perpretrate on society. It's about spooking the country over gay marriage or spefically, the coordinated effort just in the past few days over the overuse of salt in American diets. Lawyers, media outlets and activists all in promoting the fear of something or someone in unison.


When I read a novel I usually can't help trying to cast the characters in the book. By the way, expect to see this book in the theaters in the coming years. It almost read like a movie treatment.

John Kenner: Beefed-up Jeff Goldblum
Peter Evans: Josh Lucas
George Morton: un-dead Jerry Orbach
Ted Bradley: Christopher Plummer
Sarah: younger Nicolette Sheridan
Jennifer: Hilary Swank

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Will ABC Cancel 'The Bachelorette" If...

On Monday night, will Jen pick Jerry or ominously, John Paul?

If Pope John Paul passes away this weekend, will ABC cancel Monday's season finale of "The Bachelorette"? During the pontiff's last trip to the hospital, about three weeks ago, the LFR wondered if his passing during Super Bowl week would lead to postponement of the game.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Bonds: Fred Sanford Used Steroids

During today's much-anticipated Barry Bonds press conference, the known steroid-using, reigning National League MVP implicated the late comedian Red Foxx in baseball's steroid scandal.

"You guys are like re-running stories," Bonds said to the huge group of reporters in attendance. "This is old stuff. It's like watching 'Sanford and Son.' ... It's almost comical, basically."

Medically speaking, other acne, mood changes and issues of a "short" stick, one of the telltale signs of steroids use is a heart attack.

Red Foxx's character, Fred G. Sanford (the "G" stands for "Great), exhibited both extreme mood changes ("Lamont, you big dummy" and "Lamont, how would like five across yo' lip?") and a chronically weak heart ("This is the Big One! I'm coming to join you, Elizabeth!").

Sanford's friends, Grady, Skillet and Bubba had no comment on Bonds' allegations.

Monday, February 21, 2005

The Scared Little Leaguer


Steve: CV Expos
Originally uploaded by wonderbread74.
I oiled my mitt last night because I liked my mitt to be soft for my baseball games. Today we're playing the White Sox. They're the best team in our league. They've only lost one game and they have a fourth grader on their team. The rest of us were third graders. He was born in Sweden so they let him skip a grade. My Dad says it's because kids in Europe are smarter than American kids.

I'm excited because we get to play on the field with a fence and infield grass. I can make believe that I'm a real ballplayer. I asked my Mom to buy me some Big League Chew bubble gum so I could stuff a big wad of it in my cheek and spit just like some of the A's players do. Rickey Henderson is my favorite player. I wanted to wear his number 35, but our numbers only go up to 12.

At the field, my coach, Mr. O'Sullivan--I don't like him because he yells too much--put me in left field. During infield practice, Mr. O'Sullivan yelled at me because I didn't throw the ball to the cutoff man. He kept hitting me flyballs and kept yelling.

"Let's go, Tavares! Pick up your feet!"

One ball flew over my head. I picked it up and threw it as hard as I could, but the ball flew over the second baseman's head. All of sudden I didn't feel like playing today. I wanted to cry instead.

"Ahh!!! Tavares! Get in the dugout!"

As I was running past Mr. O'Sullivan, he laughed at me and put in his stepson Casey. Now I'm wasreally mad because Casey is the worst player on the team. He doesn't even know the rules of baseball! Mr. O'Sullivan walked into the dugout and didn't say anything to me. He was yelling at Casey's Mom about something through the fence so I didn't want to bother him.

The White Sox were on the field and they fielded the ball and threw it so perfectly that it made me nervous. They were only out there for less than five minutes before they ran off the field. Their coach was giving them high-fives and laughing with them. I wish I had a coach like that.

My Aunt and Uncle from San Jose were coming to the game, but they hadn't arrived yet. They're always late. My Dad calls my Aunt "The Queen" because she always does was she wants. By the fourth inning, they weren't at the game yet which was alright because I was still sitting on the bench. Our assistant coach, Harold, told me to warm up because I was going into rightfield the next inning. I picked up my mitt and started playing catch with Harold. I felt better with Harold because he didn't yell. He always called me Rickey Henderson because I could steal bases.

The bottom of the fourth came and I ran out to rightfield. It was cool because their was a fence around the outfield. I ran towards the fence and acted like I was making spectacular catches over the fence.

"Tavares! Get your head in the game!" yelled Mr. O'Sullivan.

We were winning 8-4, because the big Swedish kid kept walking everyone. Slowly the White Sox starting scoring runs and Mr. O'Sullivan kept yelling. I was getting bored because nobody was hitting the ball to me.

In the top of seventh, my Aunt and Uncle finally showed up. They sat in the bleachers with my Mom and Dad as I came to bat. The score was 8-7, now. I was scared because the Swedish boy threw much harder than anybody else in our league. My last time up was alright because he threw four balls and I walked. This time was tougher.

The first pitch came in for a strike. The second I was able to hit but it went foul. Mr. Sullivan kept yelling from the third base coaching box.

"Tavares! Stay alive! Keep your eye on the ball!"

The next pitch came in faster than the others. It was coming close to me. I tried to move out of the way, but the pitch hit me in the leg. It really hurt. I mean a lot. Mr. O'Sullivan and Harold ran towards the batter box and asked me if I was okay. I said yes but I lied. I ran to first base and tried not to rub my leg because big leaguers never rub their injuries. We didn't score anymore runs and were still winning 8-7 going into the last inning.

We were all excited because we were about to beat the best team in the league. We just needed three more outs. I ran to my position in right and checked my leg. It still hurt. There was a big red spot and the stitches of the ball were imprinted on my skin.

The White Sox loaded the bases and scored the tying run. The next batter hit a groundball to our third baseman and he let it through his legs. The White Sox scored the winning run and we lost.

Mr. O'Sullivan yelled at him really loudly. All of us were sad. Mr. O'Sullivan kicked the garbage can in our dugout and yelled at us to pick up the equipment. I was trying to put on the catcher's mask in the bag when Mr. O'Sullivan grabbed it from me.

"Tavares! You're doing it wrong! Give that to me!"

I picked up my hat and mitt and walked out the dugout towards my parents. My Mom said, "What happened?" I started crying.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"Because I hurt my leg."

The Angst of Anna


The Angst of Anna, originally uploaded by wonderbread74.

One of Michael Jackson's greatest fans, Anna Weeteh, also known as Anna Banana, vehemently supports the King of Pop. Here's some of her grand jury testimony in the Jackson molestation trial:

Question by lawyer: Hello, Ms. Amarante.
Answer by Anna: HEELLLLOOOOO!!!
Q: Can you spell your name for the court reporter?
A: A-N-N-A, Anna
Q: And your last name?
A: A-M-A-R-A-N-T-E, Weeteh.
Q: Thank you.
A: Know what happened?
Q: Excuse me?
A: My Daddy 'tupid. Anna no going to my Daddy's house. My Daddy bull.
Q: Ms. Amarante, can we get back to the questioning.
A: YES!!
Q: Did Mr. Jackson ever give you wine in a Diet Coke can?
A: NO!! Mommy say no! Yucky Coke.
Q: What did you drink, then?
A: Pesi.
Q Pesi? Oh, you mean Pepsi.
A: YES!!
Q: What is your favorite Michael Jackson song?
A: Beat It!
Q: What other artists do you like?
A: 'donna, Purple Rain, Koma Karmia, 'N Sync.
Q: You mean Madonna, Prince, the Culture Club song, Karma Kameleon and 'N Sync.
A: YESS!!!
Q: Could the court reporter please note that Anna answered the last question by doing the breakdancing "wave" motion.
Q: Anna, did Mr. Jackson ever touch you?
A: Yessy Yes. Boy, toucha my cu!
Q: Cu? What's a cu? Can the court reporter please note that Anna is now in addition to doing the wave, now doing a variation of the Charleston and sticking her tongue out.
Q: What is a cu?
A: My Butt!!
Q: Is it true that you are known for being a human road map. That you can tell people exactly which direction to get to certain places, yet you could not give the directions to Neverland Ranch?
A: Want a sandwichzinha?
Q: Huh? Please note that Anna has now raised her fists to me.
A: Eddie call me. Say love me. My brother mau-mau.
Q: Your honor, I would like to dismiss this witness before things get out of hand.
A: Love you!!

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Canseco Backlash Begins Weakly

The backlash towards whistle-blower Jose Canseco has begun in earnest; although quite weakly. The Sun of Lowell (Mass.) is reported that Canseco owes over $32,000 in taxes to the state.

It can safely be said that either Major League Baseball or a surrogate "alerted" The Sun of Canseco's debt to the Bay State. A small, inconsequential paper like The Sun could be easily duped into printing such a story. I've been to Lowell. I bought nine pounds of linguica there last December. There's nothing there!

This is a very typical media trick purportrated by organizations to deflate the momentum of a product, star or pop culture sensation. When attacked, first smear your opponent.

Michael Jackson was accused of child molestation. In short time there were stories insinuating bad parenting on the part of the accused mother.

The former terrorism czar under President Bush, Richard C. Clarke, accused the administration of botching the war in Iraq. Quickly, there were stories all over the news that place Clarke somewhere between a crackpot and a grumpy old man. This is standard procedure.

There is a perception that Canseco is promoting his book solely for the money, which may be true but also does not eliminate the fact that his accusations may be true. This story surely adds weight to those claims, but does not allow any rational person to deny his allegations when coupled with our suspicions and grand jury testimony in this scandal.

Major League Baseball is going to have to come up with a far more effective smokescreen than this to make us forget that a known steroid cheat like Barry Bonds is about to shatter one of the games most hallowed records.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Dad Killed Whales (...And He Swam With Sharks, Too!)


Carlos the Whaler
Originally uploaded by wonderbread74.
As a boy, when it came to bragging about their dad, I always had the trump card. My Dad was a whaler. He was born in the Azores Islands, which are a set of nine small islands in the Atlantic Ocean.

During his teenage years before he emigrated to the United States, my father served on whaling expeditions that would usually yield a couple gray whales a week. Growing up in poverty, the seas were the only place that could feed a family of nine. My grandfather surveyed the seas for signs of whales in a lighthouse on a hill. My father claimed that my grandfather really didn't do anything but use the binoculars to peep on women working in the fields below.

Hunting for whales might seem like an exotic adventure filled with danger, but it really wasn't. Only once in those four years did any problems arise and that was the story that piqued the interests of my friends:
One summer morning, my grandfather spotted the ocean spray of some gray whales in the distance and loudly rang the huge copper bell in the lighthouse. A motley crew of skinny young boys quickly assembled, running for their small, ramshackle houses near the docks. The long, thin boats were manned by nine men. On the high seas I always romanticized the idea that my Dad was the guy who stood over the whale menacingly holding the long, sharp harpoon and violently pierceing it into the whale's blubber and forcing the huge leviathan to moan in pain.

My Dad had the mundane job of holding the rope that was fastened to the harpoon. His duty was to make certain that the rope was wet or it would burn when the whale tried to flee.
On this day, the captain of the boat made of huge mistake. He wasn't well thought of by the crew because of his lack of attention to detail and a quick temper. The common procedure was for the whaling boat to pull up near the front of the whale. This was done because the pain of the harpoon would provoke a sharp reaction from the tail of the whale.

The whale was making it difficult for them to reach their desired target, so the captain instructed the harpoon man to stab the whale near the tail. He followed his commands and stuck the whale. The whale's montrous tail rose from the water and swatted the wooden boat into pieces. The whole crew was in the water for the next hour while another boat came to the rescue. They all knew what was going to happen next. The whale was bleeding and the blood naturally attracted sharks in the area.
One of the older crewmember named Manuel, first saw the ominous shark fins circling in the distance. Manuel was one of the few crewmembers who had a wife and family. He began sobbing, crying out their names.

"Maria! Jose!, Rui! Manuela!"

In the end, the sharks never came close to the wreckage and Manuel was reunited with his beloved family and my Dad was stocked with a whale of a story.
My Dad has always maintained a reverence for the majestic beasts that he once hunted. My Dad battled and slayed the monsters of the sea. What did yours do?

Chabot College Also Changing School Name

Taking a cue from the newly-named Cal State-East Bay and the extreme apathy from Hayward residence that followed, Chabot College is also changing the institution's moniker. Here are a sample of the possible school names:

UCLA--University of Chabot, Lower Alameda; Hesperian High; Cha-Blew-it; C.I.T.--Chabot Institute of the Thoughtless and Cal State-My Parents Are Forcing Me To Be Here.

My iTunes Playlist (Feb. 17)

Here's a list of my recent iTunes downloads and what's playing in my CD player:

1 We're Not Gonna Take It-Twisted Sister
2 You Shook Me All Night Long-AC/DC
3 Highway to Hell-AC/DC
4 Hard to Handle-Black Crows
5 She Talks to Angels-Black Crows
6 Let Love Rule-Lenny Kravitz
7 Code of Silence-Bruce Springsteen
8 None but the Brave-Bruce Springsteen
9 Lift Me Up-Bruce Springsteen
10 Watching the Wheels-John Lennon
11 Give a Little Bit-Goo Goo Dolls
12 Float On-Modest Mouse
13 1985-Bowling for Soup
14 Have You Ever Loved a Woman-Bryan Adams
15 Let's Get Together-Al Green
16 Sittin' On (The Dock of the Bay)-Otis Redding

Monday, February 14, 2005

LaRussa Has The Most To Lose

Is it time to rethink the A’s glory days from 1988-1990? It is horrific to fathom that one of the greatest teams in the past 30 years and not to mention, one of my most cherished childhood memories--that of celebrating a World Championship in 1989, were tainted.

Jose Canseco has publicly accused his former Bash Brother, Mark McGwire of steroid use during an era where the A’s won three consecutive American League pennants and one World Series championship. These accomplishments are bogus.

The two most feared hitters in baseball at the time, arguably, did more to intimidate and win games than any other part of those teams. Might this have been a reason why so many other teams hated the A’s. What observers thought was jealous at their winning ways may have actually been contempt for their cheating ways.

The most interesting part of this burgeoning scandal is how high it will reach into the hierarchy of baseball. Canseco and McGwire were subordinates to manager, Tony LaRussa and general manager, Sandy Alderson.

LaRussa went on to manage the St. Louis Cardinals and has continued to add more to his resume that universally hails him as one of the most innovative and highly credible figures in baseball.
Alderson left the A’s to work as a vice president in the commissioners’ office.

LaRussa and Alderson lead us to believe they knew nothing of Canseco and McGwire’s cheating. LaRussa is quoted as saying that there were a few players on those A’s teams that he knew were using steroids. Is it fair to question LaRussa’s credibility in defending McGwire? Who were these players then? Dave Henderson? Felix Jose? Dave Parker? Parker was also involved in baseball’s others scandal, the cocaine problems of the early 80s.

In Alderson, we have a specific officer in baseball’s front office that is truly complicit in the steroid boom of the 1990s. Looking back now, what was Alderson’s real reason in the dubious trade of Canseco in 1992? It was very odd that a team that was leading their division and poised for the playoffs proceeded to trade one of their best players, thereby completely changing the makeup of a successful team with a month to go in the season. Did Alderson know something about Canseco then or did he think an equally volatile Ruben Sierra and two serviceable pitchers (Bobby Witt and Jeff Parrett) would put the A’s over the top?

Whether you watched the 1989 A’s with passing interest or popped champagne in celebration, other aspects of those teams need to be viewed differently, now.

The A’s pitching in those days were a haven for rejuvenating flagging careers or ones that never succeeded. Most notably it was because of one pitch--the split-finger fastball. Roger Craig, the future manager of the San Francisco Giants brought the pitch with him to the Giants from Detroit in 1986. The pitch that looked like a fastball but suddenly dipped just as it reached the plate revolutionized the game. After a few years, a backlash against the pitch grew. Some opposing players and managers openly speculated whether there was more to the pitch than splitting two fingers far apart. Successful split-finger pitchers like Jack Morris, Rick Reuschel, Don Robinson, Mike Scott and Dave Stewart were routinely accused of illegally scuffing the baseball for more movement.

Is it plausible to wonder whether the A’s pitchers were also cheating? Pitchers like Stewart, Gene Nelson, Rick Honeycutt, Mike Moore, Storm Davis, Scott Sanderson and Hall of Famer, Dennis Eckersley all came to the A’s during this period with careers like that never quite took off or were in serious decline. Did this controversial pitch constitute cheating or a very novel and fair approach by a good pitching coach and manager?

LaRussa, himself, posed the question yesterday when he wondered whether Canseco’s allegations would taint the exploits of those teams. Maybe the one with the most to lose in all of this is people like LaRussa. In the coming weeks and months, will we begin to shift the prevailing wisdom of LaRussa from the law-educated revolutionary manager to the meandering enabler who allowed winning come before unethical behavior under his watch.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Apologists Be Damned


Jose Canseco
Originally uploaded by wonderbread74.
Do you get the feeling Major League Baseball has done more than moved a franchise to Washington, D.C., but also learned the simple Beltway strategy of smearing opponents.

Since bits of Jose Canseco's book implicating some current Major Leaguers of steroids use were reported by the New York Daily News, MLB apologists have repeatedly popped up.

Apologists like Tony LaRussa, Walt Weiss and, of course, Bud Selig have a had one common refrain: attack the truth and credibility of Canseco. He feels he's been blackballed by baseball therefore he has an ax to grind. He needs to money. He's jealous of Mark McGwire's success. Or as Jason Giambi said yesterday, "He's delusional".

In fact, Giambi was certifiably delusional at a press conference yesterday where he apologized five times but never answered what he was actually apologizing for.

All these statements about Canseco have a grain of plausibility, but the facts have clearly been laid out. Major Leaguers have been using steroids and grand jury testimony shows that the biggest stars in the game have admitted to them. Barry Bonds, Giambi, Gary Sheffield, Canseco and the recently deceased 1996 National League MVP, Ken Caminiti are guilty.

When is Major League Baseball, which is also complicit in this epidemic, going to come clean. The damage has been done to the game and its hallowed records, but cannot be quantified in the physical damage done to the athlete's bodies.

Some believe Giambi's pituitary gland cancer was accelerated by steroid use. Caminiti is dead. Who can guess which Major Leaguers will slowly waste away from steroid use in the same manner as the former Raider, Lyle Alzado.

Sadly, in addition to wondering who will win the World Series, this spring will bring with it whispers of who looks skinnier and who looks less bulky. Let's cut with hiding what everybody already knows: after all these years, the baseballs weren't juiced, the players were.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Lupus Walk/Run Set For May 22

www.balf.org
www.balf.org,
originally uploaded by wonderbread74.
The 11th Annual 5K Walk and Run for Lupus is set for Sunday, May 22nd beginning at 8am at West Valley College in Saratoga.

Be there with your walking shoes for Suzao! Entry fee is $20 before May 10th and $25 after.

Visti www.balf.org for more information.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Palmeiro Issues Statement Denying Steroids


Palmeiro helps out Canseco
Originally uploaded by wonderbread74.
In Jose Canseco's soon-to-be-released tell all book titled, "Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big," he implicates several big leaguers including Mark Mc Gwire, Juan Gonzalez, Ivan Rodriguez and Viagra pitchman Rafael Palmeiro.

Said Palmeiro: "I categorically deny any suggestions that I have ever used a performance-enhancing drugs other than weiner pills."

(Any suggestion in the accompanied photo that Palmeiro is applying some his weiner enhancing techniques on Canseco is purely speculative)

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Champions Again; Pats to rout Eagles, 38-24


Champions Again
Originally uploaded by wonderbread74.
On Sunday, the Patriots will embark on punctuating a four year dynasty rarely seen in the NFL by winning their third championship in four years.

Many forget that this run by the Pats began inauspicously. It's rarely mentioned anymore that New England's victory over the Rams in 2001 was one of the biggest upsets in Super Bowl history. The Pats were 14 points underdogs to the high-flying Rams.

Last year, the Pats again squeeked by the Panthers on kicker, Adam Vinatieri's second game-winning field goal. Believe it, these Patriots are one of the finest teams ever assembled in NFL history and for this reason they will rout the Philadelphia Eagles in Jacksonville to make history sure of their dominance.

It's hard to prognosticate Super Bowl's because they are so superficially hyped and account for so much more emotion than any other games. It is wholly believable that the Eagles have fallen victim to the adage of "just happy to be there". They seemed way to ecstatic to have the NFC Championship monkey off their back. New England, on the other hand, showed their remarkable poise that is very reminiscent of the BIll Walsh-Joe Montana Super Bowl years in San Francisco.

It is foolish to debate the similarities of Tom Brady to Joe Montana but the similarities in sheer confidence and dominance of these Patriots' teams under Bill Belichick and Walsh's 49er teams are eery.

In general, both teams rarely made mistakes, at least, costly ones. Both jump on their opponents neck and never relent, Both have quiet, universally lauded head coaches who seemingly adapt to any situation. And both teams make forming predictions very simple.

It will go down like this on Sunday. Much like New England's playoff victories over the Colts and Steelers, it will be the underrated and injured secondary of the Pats that will be the catalyst to victory.

Corey Dillon may loom large in New Engand's offensive approach. He just may be Tom Brady's biggest obstacle to three Super Bowl MVPs.

After a very competitive three quarters, the Patroits will pull away and win their third Super Bowl trophy, 38-24.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Perception Is An Amazing Thing

An astute observation was made by the New York Times' Sports Media columnist, Richard Sandomir regarding Sunday's Super Bowl halftime show.

"Paul McCartney, in a peach-colored sweater and faded jeans, sat in a ballroom full of cameras and reporters Thursday, playing a new role 41 years after the Beatles stormed America: the restorer of Super Bowl decency and family values. So many years ago, the moptops from Liverpool were viewed as sinful corrupters of our youth."

Perception is a funny thing, isn't it?

Those same rabble-rousing English boys are now regarding as some of the greatest musicians of the 20th century. Makes you wonder how this generation's crop of bad boy recording artists' will be view in the same way. The early 80s rap trio of Run DMC is already lauded as godfathers of rap albeit with broad strokes.

Going back to the 1920s, Jazz was relegated to closed doors and alley ways. The name "jazz" even had a profanely sexual connatation. What is Jazz today other than a dying artform? Along with the Declaration of Independence, baseball and apple pie; a uniquely American creation.

Can you imagine the day when old men routinely chat about the those "old" rappers. C'mon on Billy, turn that music off and listen to some Snoop Dogg? Naw, Grandpa, that's old people's music.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Would The NFL Cancel The Super Bowl If...?

What if Pope John Paul II passes away this weekend? Would the NFL possibly postpone the Super Bowl in deference to the pontiff?

It would be hard to imagine the NFL commissioner, Paul Tagliabue staging the Super Bowl a week later even if the attention of the world is on Rome rather than Jacksonville. There are precendents for this sort of crossover of news and sports.

In 1963, the late commish of the NFL, Pete Rozelle, famously went forward with the week's games after the death of President John F. Kennedy. Conversely, Major League Baseball and the NFL both cancelled games after 9/11.