Lum Lum

Ever wonder what people are really thinking in their little minds? Last Monday, I was thinking, "Lady! I hardly know you!" And other times, do you ever wonder what the hell people are saying out loud?

I went for my first manicure and pedicure last Monday. Two words to describe it (or multiples of two for added emphasis): Sooo Gooood, Sooo Goood, Sooo Goood.

Man, I'm telling you, who lives their life to cut somebody else's toe nails and give hand massagies?

The establishment, located on Grand Avenue was actually pretty nice. Fairly new vibrating chair connected to small water basin with water jets at the base. Two Vietnamese woman, one short and stubby took her place at my feet while a more seasoned, thin woman worked on my fingernails.

The woman at my feet had this excited manner that led me to believe she was happy to be touching a young man's feet instead of the feet of some old, broken-down Piedmont wannabe socialite. The other woman gave me the impression that she also specialized in "extra service", as in, "Do you want extra service? Put it on yo' credy card."

At one point, she put lotion on my hand and wrist and began quickly, I mean, very quickly, stroking my fingers. I didn't turn me on, so much as made me wonder, "she could probably charge a lot for extra service."

It's funny when you go to these nail places and hair salons, the Asian workers seem to have nothing to say until they start cutting your hair or filing your nails. The joint was dead silent until we walked in and the four women jumped to their feet. Suddenly, it was as if Jackie Chan just walked in.

What are they saying? Are they talking about us? Their cackling throaty-sounding language reverberated off the tacky poster resembling Chinese landscapes on black suede.

"bang glan glum, glam, lum, lum, lum, lum!"

In fact, the word or phrase, "lum, lum" seemed to be uttered numerous times.

Were they talking about my ass? Where they commenting on my impressive fingernails?

For instance, "Lookie, at this man's sweet ass!"

"Lum, lum", as in "yes, yes!"

I must say that I do know know some Vietnamese. "Dien kum" is "Are you crazy?" "Dun la" is "Don't worry about it" and "Ko gai dep" is "pretty girl".

So I went to work the next day to learn what "lum, lum" might be. Tuyet and Hoang are a Vietnamese couple that work with me at the Bank. Tuyet is the one who taught me some of these little sayings that I can easily mix with English sentences. She's on jury duty this week. Unfortunately, I asked her husband to translate.

Once I asked him what "dun la" meant.

He said what? "Dun la?"

Yeah, "Dun la".

Oh, "dun laaaa", that means "don't worry about it."

I said, "Are you kidding me, man? That's what I just said."

"No, you said 'dun la'"

"I know, you said 'dun la', too."

"No, I said 'dun laaaa'."

Whatever.

Anyway, "lum lum" means "pick it up".