There's Something About Bill

CLINTON HOLDS COURT AND RUNS AMOK WITH HIS MOUTH

How did Bill Clinton get away with a string of sexual innuendo, passive aggressiveness and poor word choice?

Clinton told reporters Monday at his Clinton Global Initiative meeting he understood why Americans relate to the Palin family, but his arguments were a bit peculiar.

BAD
On Palin: He said, "I come from Arkansas; I get why she's hot out there."

BADDER
On Palin's pregnant and unwed teenage daughter: "I'm glad she loves her daughter and she's not ashamed of her."

UNBELIEVABLY BAD!
On Palin's handicapped infant son: "I like that little Down syndrome kid. One of them lives down the street."

The line about Trig Palin is somewhat like saying, "Yeah, I love freaks. In fact, I have one down the the street."

The scene evokes Matt Dillon's big-toothed character in "There's Something About Mary" when pretending to impress Mary and her mentally retarded brother, he utters the famous line, "Those goofy bastards are about the best thing I've got going."

I suppose when your the host of your own conference, you can say anything. How he got away with such appaling quips is hard to figure. Must have been one hell of a buffet in the press lounge.

Gun-Totting Palin And Daughter's Shotgun Wedding

MYSPACE PAGE OF OFFENDING BOYFRIEND SAYS, 'IF YOU F*** WITH ME, I'LL KICK ASS'

Gov. Sarah Palin and her family worthy of a drama on the CW Network and also known to Sen. Barack Obama as the gift that keeps giving is bringing daddy to St. Paul according to The Associated Press.

The New York Post tracked the young high school hockey sniper, Levi Johnston, through his MySpace page and found him to be, well, as immature as any 17-year-old jock.

On his MySpace page, Johnston boasts, "I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.

"But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess."

"Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass," he added.

He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids.

Just as the entire disclosure of Bristol Palin's pregnancy could not get more preposterous, her father now says that the couple had previously contemplated tying the knot before she was knocked up.

Exactly what every high school senior dreams about: settling down. Sixty-year-old evangelical couples sitting in an affluent mega-church might applaud such action, yet outside of such pretzel logic, you have to believe such a decision is not as tidy as the VP's statement that her daughter would be "growing up" faster than they would like.