Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Tuesday Morning Junk Drawer

News and Notes from around the Major Leagues

Prosecutors are accusing Michael Jackson of imprisoning his accuser and family at the Neverland Ranch. Court documents called Jackson’s co-conspirators “henchmen”, hirelings” and “thugs.” Michael later corrected the prosecution by calling them by their correct names, “The Elephant Man", "Bubbles the Chimp", “The One-Eyed Monster” and “Mr. Happy.”  (Remember to click on the links)

The people of Boston are really excited by John Kerry and the convention in their city. The Republican National Convention starts next month in New York. Bostonians think this is the year they finally beat New York.

This month's Martha Stewart Living has a nice recipe for a sweet, but pungent summertime favorite, Jailhouse Pruno (click for the recipe). It's a good thing.

I was shopping on MarthaStewart.com, for $49.95 she's offering Pall Mall cigarettes in a limited edition decorative plywood box. Perfect for that uncle with class and also on the brink of emphysema.

Enrique Iglesias is reportedly teaching his girlfriend, tennis star Anna Kournikova, how to speak spanish. Her first sentence: "Yo suck at Tenis, pero mi culo es perfecto! Si?" Si, Anna.

Kirstie Alley is set to star in a new sitcom called "Fat Actress." Like all actresses Kirstie starved herself for the role.


MrYosemite said...

Anna Kournikova has yet to win a single tournament. I think we can stop referring to her as a "tennis star". A more accurate description might be "Ho Bag with a Racket". Or, how about, "Anna Corn-a-cob Up My Ass-a"

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