Saturday, October 02, 2004

A's Save Me Over $100 In Playoff Tix

Man, I just wasted my time and money on a wasted summer. I attended 29 games this season, albeit most of them were what we call Portuguese welfare specials where we buy $8 upper reserved seats and sneak down to the $24 lower reserved. Genius!

I was at today's debacle with my good friend, Jason. Brilliant! Bring all your friends and family together in a Skybox and enjoy all the good times of watching the A's blow their division lead on the next to last day of the season. Hey, Tracer, rent a Skybox at the mortuary for my funeral so you can fill your belly with polish sausage and popcorn while I peacefully rest. "Let's Go Steve-O".

I have no ill will towards the Anaheim Angels. None. Never, ever will I fault the Halos. They have done more for me than any baseball team possibly could. They won the World Series in 2002; denying the Giants of winning their first title in 48 years. I am forever indebted to what the Angels did for me two years ago.

To this day, I can still yell at Giants fans, "What? Huh? What? Win a World Series Asshole!" or "How many rings do you have? We've got four, Asshole!" or "Hey, old man! You're about 50 years old, right? How does it feel to never enjoy being a winner? Loser! Oh, yeah. Asshole!" and, of course there is, "Excuse me, I had amnesia in 1989. Who played in the World Series and who won? Oakland in four games, Asshole!"

So both of our Bay Area teams lost heartbreaking games to their SoCal rivals. Not only do they beat our teams but they steal our water and give us cinematic gems like "Jason vs. Freddy" and "Waterworld". "Fahrenheit 9/11" was good though.

Anyway, let me take us back to a simpler time. Picture it: April 2004. Steve-O says: Angels and Dodgers in the World Series.