Monday, January 31, 2005

Confessions Of A Mini-Taco Lover

Dear ConAgra Foods:

First off, I must tell you that I thoroughly enjoy your Mini-Tacos. I devour them with the ferocity of a condemned man on execution night. In fact, if I were due to be murdered by the state I would proudly have the Mini-Taco bile mixture of tortillas and beef in my intestines. Again, I love your delicious delights of Mexican fare. One of the worst days of my life occurred September 11, 2001. That's right. My local Albertson's sold out your scrumptious Mexican morsels.

But, I have some suggestions for your luscious Latin American treats...Make them bigger!

Hey, I admire them as much as the next bandito but Mini-Tacos are very time intensive. Is it just me, but is it hard to so finely dice tomatoes and lettuce? Maybe you can create a promotion for really small cheese shredders. Who has time to dollop tiny dots of sour cream on each mini-taco? I use an eye dropper.

I noticed on your box that they're are made in Ohio. Is there a large Spanish-speaking midget population near Cleveland? How do they ply their dainty digits so well and send such love to my tum-tum?

Mini-Tacos may not be the most perfect food, but they make me feel good. They make me feel bigger than myself. It's good for the ol' confidence, you know. Holding those beautiful bites of beef in my hand make me feel larger than life. I can hold like 20 tacos in my hands. Who, but a giant, could perform such feats?

Epicurious,
Steve Tavares

PS: Could you tell me if it's necessary to store mini-tacos in mini-refrigerators?

5 comments:

pryncess711 said...

oh my gosh .. you MUST have all the free time in the world to be "sending letters" to your local mini-taco makers.. DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!

MrYosemite said...

I prefer the fleshy taco vs the mini taco. On the other hand, the ultimate combination is a choco taco [spread] over a fleshy taco. YEAH BABY!

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