Sunday, July 18, 2004

LFR EXCLUSIVE!!! He...Could...Go...All...The...Way!

Some of you might know that I've had an awful time with my upstairs neighbor. About a month ago I complained to the front office about the incessant noise from above. It sounded like kids running around the apartment until midnight each evening.

One night I just couldn't take it anymore and I started banging the ceiling with a broom. Around 11:30 at night, the bell rings and it's this big, burly African-American man with short dreads. Sort of like the Miami Dolphins running back, Ricky Williams. He had the audacity to confront ME about the racket I was making on his floor. Apparently I was waking up his son.

The next day I spoke with the front office and they were compassionate. They told me they knew the tenant and, indeed, his kids were staying with him for a couple of weeks. They also said that he splits time between two apartments.

After that I never heard a sound from above until last Wednesday night. Since then, there has been a hip-hop party on the 3rd floor each night. Constant stomping, screaming, thumping and an occasional booming crash "entertain" my evenings, from around nine to 1am each night.

This afternoon, I again spoke to the front office about the worsening situation. I may move to another unit if it's a lateral or more beneficial situation for me. If the only cost is moving my things then I will transfer.

Get this, I learned the identity of my inhospitable neighbor.

You might remember his breakout 89-yard kickoff return against the San Diego Chargers last season. He's a wide receiver who might be up and coming on the Raiders receiving and return squads. My neighbor, in his second year from the University of Central Florida, number 85, Doug Gabriel.

I told the guy in the front office that this guy isn't going to change his ways and with training camp about to start and the season about to get rolling in September, he's going to be around all the time.

I don't want to root against the Raiders to lose so he doesn't party all Sunday night.

Now, if he played for the 49ers, well then, he would never celebrate because they won't win a game this season.

6 comments:

Pops said...

When you make enemies- you make 'em big

Anonymous said...

You dare even get dumb about a RADIER making noise. you are LUCKY That the raider nation doesnt kick yor lame white boy ass, you racist.THE RAIDER NATION. TILL DEATH A RAIDER.

Pops said...

I must be getting emotional in my old age- I was watching a commercial for McDonalds where a guy, and at the risk of being labeled racist by anonymous posters, I will call an Urban American, was making friends with his neighbors by buying them all apple pies from the dollar menu before he and his band started rehearsal ans shook the walls in the apt bldg they all live in-

An unselfish act on the part of the Urban American that brought a tear to my eye!

All the worlds problems can be solved by globs of boiling hot fruitlike stuff in fried bread.

Take the first step! Be the bigger man!

Find out what Mr. Gabriels favorite fried food is and present him with a peace offering.

You will feel better and Oakland will be a better place.

Amen and pass the tissue.

wonderbread74 said...

Thank you Mr. Mattybalou, but don't you think Mr. Gabriel should be buying ME food? Maybe some Popeye's.

MrYosemite said...

With all the noise you're hearing, maybe he's been going Kobe on some white girls. I bet if you leave your door open at night, some of his sloppy seconds will wander into your pad.

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