Monday, February 28, 2005

Reasons Osama Hates America #1

My swine infidel friends, this is Osama. How are you?

That's good. Me?
Not so good. I just try and try to get to know you silly Americans, but I just can't. I'm not going to get angry, but, c'mon, my friends; Nike has a black golf ball? Man, you must be mad!

How, in all of Mohammed's world, can you play golf with a black ball. America, do you think this is Pee-Wee golf? Aren't golf ball white so you can see them in the long grass? Remember in Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11", which was very good. Thank you Michael, I liked what you did with the goat story. Anyway, remember when Georgie was playing golf? We can all agree that he's a few rockets short of weapons of mass destruction, but even Georgie plays with a white golf ball.

Seriously America, do you need to go mad like an Afghani on opium with these balls. It's like marrying a sixth wife. Do you really need another? Who needs to take the time to coordinate their menstrual cycles and the constant yapping "When are you coming home? Osama Jr. needs new shoes? Blah! Really, the time to could be used more wisely. Like planning terrorist attack or making miniature Meccas out of Legos. But I digress. Try this one: It's like buying a pretty colored ball point pen that writes in invisible ink!

America, try worrying about something more important than a golf ball that you'll eventually lose like your fear of me!

Infidels! May bombs bursting in the sky be more than a catchy little ditty.