Thursday, May 12, 2005

I Think The Neighbor Is Dead, Part II

Nothing since Saturday night has changed my feeling that something has happened to my neighbor, Geoff.

We've seen one of his ex-boyfriends on numerous ocassions this week. A guy named Dean the Love Machine, who coincidently, looks exactly like Geoff. Tall and gaunt with a 1970s glam-rock hairdo. Sort of like Steve Perry of Journey on crack. They look so similar that I've actually waved hello to Dean driving on the road. I've never formally met Dean the Love Machine so he always looks perplexed why I'm greeting him so enthusiastically. I've also never meet his predecessor in love, Stan the Man, but I digress.

Dean and some raggedly-looking acquitances have been showing up at Geoff's house a few times this week. It seems like they're cleaning out the garage. Picking through his belongings without any sight of Geoff. As if the guy kicked the bucket and his vulture friends are tearing away their piece of the carcass.

Yesterday, a beat up station wagon complete with wood siding on the doors sped away haphazardly piled high with junk. All that was missing was Granny and Elie May sitting atop the wagon Beverly Hillbillies-style. Jethro was probably with Dean, you know, The Love Machine.

So what kind of neighbors are we? Not very good ones, I suppose. We're all afraid to walk across the street and ask about Geoff. He could be held hostage right now while we're laughing acorss the street watching American Idol and eating Hamburger Helper.

I'm thinking if somehting really happened to him, I may have been the last person he spoke to. When I spoke to him last Saturday night, he offered to cut my hair at his personal salon (of course, he's a hairdresser, silly) and he gave me his number to make an appointment. When he invited me in to his house to look for a pen and paper I only stood in the doorway staring at his aquarium. I don't feel comfortable venturing too far inside because, as many of you know, I do have a sweet ass...and I thank you.

If things continue to look suspicious, we just might launch an undercover investigation or rescue attempt to solve this mystery.

No comments: