Saturday, September 17, 2005

Fatty Bonds To Stop Eating Steroids

What's the best way to combat squirrely journalists who begin noticing you're physique is smaller than when you were hitting 73 homers a year?

Barry Bonds announced today that he's going to lose 28 pounds by spring training of next year to help his ailing knees. That would be a good trick to heads those accusations off at the pass, right.

"I'm going to be skinny," said Bonds.

Dropping so many pounds will reportedly drop Bonds' weight to around 200. This begs the question: What has Bonds been doing all summer? Wasn't the idea to get into playing shape by the end of the season?

What was most interesting about his statements was how one of his answers seemingly leads anyone to extrapolate what he was saying to his off-the-field problems.
"I want to get my legs strong again," Bonds said "Hopefully I'll train hard all winter. I can hit it, but I don't feel like I feel when I'm strong. I can tell out there. I'm older now. It's harder."

"... I don't feel like I feel when I'm strong."

Yeah, because you're not juiced, now. Duh!

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